VS Day One:

Although this is incredibly embarrassing I've decided I better be honest so here it goes:
Starting weight: 120.8 lbs
Height: 5' 2 ½" (not like that will change, but still thought it to be relevant)
Well I didn’t start this challenge off very well, but in a way I didn’t really have control so that doesn’t count right? On the way to Birmingham Airport today the guy who drove my roommate Abby and I stopped at Milo’s, which is a hamburger place. I had’t eaten anything yet so I was hungry and that was the only thing I would eat for a while so I got a cheeseburger and a small sweet tea. I have to say though I am proud of myself for not getting bacon or fries with it. Baby steps. Although I did feel incredibly guilty eating it, I could feel the processed food just clogging my arteries. And p.s. he said Milo's was the best hamburger place ever….not even close! They weren’t even that good! Anyways I’ve now decided that from now on I have to be more careful, it’s a lot harder than it seems to eat clean!
I didn't eat anything all day until I landed at LAX. When I got to my parents house they were hosting a Christmas party so of course I was mentally eating everything in sight. But, I behaved to a point and just kept it to chill, fruit, chicken, and sausage. That's healthy right? Oh who am I kidding day one was a fail…but I won't be too hard on myself it was a travel day…
Wish me luck on tomorrow.

The Angel Challenge

Okay...so obviously everyone in the world tunes in to CBS on that one day of the year….The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I love/hate this time of year. On one hand I have an unhealthy obsession with anything and all things Victoria's Secret and on the other I hate all the models for being so perfect.

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Why can't I just snap my fingers and have Candice Swanepoel's body? Like is there a magic word I need to have? Because I could use it right about now.

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Across the world girls gather around the TV like it's some sort of shrine and pray to the God's that they can have a body like those models, while in the mean time stuffing their faces with chocolate and ice cream to ease the pain of self loathing. And I too was one of those girls this past Tuesday night. I sat there looking at my thighs thinking, "This is not okay! I'm not happy with my body!" I never used to be uncomfortable with my body until a couple years ago. And for some reason watching that show this year just clicked something in my head. Not only do I want to have a cute body but I want to be fit and healthy. The thing I admire about these Angels is that they are all so healthy and fit. They could kick ass if they needed to. SO with all that said…I've decided to take a challenge. For 30 days I'm going to eat clean, exercise daily, and treat my body kindly! My problem areas: Butt, Thighs, and Tummy.
Starting tomorrow morning the countdown begins! Here are my guidelines are rules:

FOOD: 

• Little to no gluten (IF eaten: whole wheat and whole grain)
• Lots of water
• Mostly Fruits and Veggies everyday
• Lean Meats
• Vitamins
• Peanut Butter
• Smoothies
• No processed sugar
• Whole/Organic foods
• No soda
• No alcohol 

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EXERCISE:

• Victoria's Secret Angel Workout for legs and butt
• Victoria's Secret Angel Workout for abs
• Victoria's Secret ANgel Workout for arms
• Walking
• Jumping jacks
• Jump Rope
• Shadow boxing

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Winter

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written…I guess I've just been so caught up in everything going on I haven't had time to just sit down and write. Well first off Thanksgiving just passed and it was a weird one. It was the first Thanksgiving that I didn't spend with my family. I was in Georgia with my best friend and it being the first Thanksgiving with my grandpa gone made it even tougher to be away from my family. But I made it out okay and now I'm back at school.

I kept catching myself saying "I can't wait to go home" or "I'll be home soon" and when I think about it, Alabama has become my home. This is my new home now, yes I may not have been born and raised in Alabama but the way I see it is home is where the heart is. And my heart is here, even if my family doesn't live here. I'll always have a home with them, but here in Alabama is where I call home. Honestly I think it hurts my momma's feelings because she thinks I'm forgetting about the family, and I know where I grew up and I'll always have a home with them but there comes a time where we as children growing up need to make our own home.

With that said….It's winter! I'm so excited! And my roommates and I have decorated our new home with christmas decorations, a tree, and lights! We've gone all out! Not only do we have the decorations up but we brought our cozy cold weather clothes out and stocked up on hot cocoa and marshmallows. If you ask me…this is the best time of year. There's nothing better than curling up on the couch with a blanket, popcorn, and some hot cocoa looking at the the flames from candles dancing on the wall or the twinkling lights of the christmas tree, watching the ornaments sparkle and the light dance off of them as you're watching a Christmas movie while it rains or snows outside. Safe to say I'm more than excited that it's that time of year!

God…Are You There?

Lately I've felt a little lost, I don't mean physically lost but mentally. I've been going in and out of moods like ocean waves on the shore. One day I'm confident and happy and think everything will be okay and the next I ask myself…who am I? What do I want? Who do I WANT to be? And I've realized I've started to stress myself out about it.

In my human development class we've been talking about personalities and identities. And I can't help but sit there and think about my own personality and identity. When I think about what I believe in and what kind of person I want to be I get frustrated because I don't understand how I haven't already figured myself out when everyone around me seems to think they know me. How can they really know me if I don't even think I know myself?

I know my core beliefs and morals, for example I know I'll never cheat under any circumstance and I can say that in complete confidence. I know I would do anything to help anyone else and not think twice about it. I feel like I'm a good person and I know right from wrong, but there seems to be something missing in my life and I can't quite put my finger on it….that was until a few days ago. 

I know how cliche is it to say "I've found God" but in all honesty finding religion has really made me feel whole again and when I lay in bed and think about my life and what I want to become as a person I find myself talking to God, asking him for guidance and advice. After I've finished praying I always have this overwhelming calmness that comes over me and in an instant I'm at peace. 

And with that said I can now proudly say I have begun the journey of finding myself, and thanks to my lovely roommate Morgan we are encouraging each other to go to church every weekend. Is it strange that I'm actually looking forward to church this Sunday? It may seem weird but I actually feel so much happier and better when I go to church. And no I'm not turning into some sort of Jesus freak, so no need to be alarmed. I see this as a step in a happier direction for my life and I'm excited to where it will lead me.